Chrissy Teigen Reveals She’s Been Struggling With Postpartum Depression
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen just revealed that she has been secretly battling postpartum depression and anxiety since giving birth to her and John Legend’s daughter Luna last April.
The almost always outspoken supermodel penned a personal essay for Glamour magazine’s April issue, in which she opened up about her depression for the first time.
“I’ve been a chronic oversharer since birth. So I decided I’d talk about something no one really knows about me,” Teigen began, “mainly because I just learned about it myself.”
“I had everything I needed to be happy. And yet, for much of the last year, I felt unhappy. What basically everyone around me—but me—knew up until December was this: I have postpartum depression,” the model and cookbook author revealed.
“How can I feel this way when everything is so great? I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with that, and I hesitated to even talk about this, as everything becomes such a ‘thing.’ During pregnancy, what I thought were casual comments about IVF turned into headlines about me choosing the sex of my daughter. And I can already envision what will be said about me after this admission. But it’s such a major part of my life and so, so many other women’s lives. It would feel wrong to write anything else,” Teigen continued.
The former SI Swimsuit covergirl didn’t realize something was truly wrong until returning to her work as host of “Lip Sync Battle,” when her daughter was four-months-old.
“I was different than before,” she noticed. “Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful. My lower back throbbed; my shoulders—even my wrists—hurt. I didn’t have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me. One thing that really got me was just how short I was with people.”
“I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: ‘Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom.'”
When she didn’t have work or prior engagements to attend, Teigen said she wouldn’t even take a step out of her house. She also experienced severe wrist, hand and back pain that eventually became so overwhelming she had to go see a doctor.
“John sat next to me. I looked at my doctor, and my eyes welled up because I was so tired of being in pain. Of sleeping on the couch. Of waking up throughout the night. Of throwing up. Of taking things out on the wrong people. Of not enjoying life. Of not seeing my friends. Of not having the energy to take my baby for a stroll,” Teigen wrote. “My doctor pulled out a book and started listing symptoms. And I was like, ‘Yep, yep, yep.’ I got my diagnosis: postpartum depression and anxiety. (The anxiety explains some of my physical symptoms.)”
The swimsuit model continually wondered how this could happen to someone in her situation — a celebrity, with a famous singer for a husband and a daughter that she adores. Because of her position she hesitated to speak up about her battle with depression, but wants to use her own experience with it to help others.
“Postpartum does not discriminate. I couldn’t control it. And that’s part of the reason it took me so long to speak up: I felt selfish, icky, and weird saying aloud that I’m struggling. Sometimes I still do,” she admitted.
“I’m speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody, and I don’t want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone. I also don’t want to pretend like I know everything about postpartum depression, because it can be different for everybody. But one thing I do know is that — for me — just merely being open about it helps.”