The Trend Of Serving Coffee In Bikinis Could Change America Forever

David Hookstead | Reporter

There is a new trend that could change America forever: coffee being served by barely-clothed women.

I’m not a big coffee guy. In fact, I always have an ice-cold Mountain Dew to get my day started. So, you can imagine my confusion this morning as I’m trying to recover from a Wednesday night baseball game hangover when I received a tip about needing to check out an Instagram page for @Carliejohowell.

I get tips all the time. Some are good, but most are garbage. However, this tip came from a highly trusted source of mine, and he noted this tip would be “capitalism at its finest.”

I was interested, but I was not prepared to discover that women serving coffee in as little clothing as possible as an actual business is a very real thing. Carlie Jo Howell, the woman behind the trend, has a massive following on social media. She also owns a business called Bikini Beans Espresso, and it’s exactly what it sounds like.

A post shared by SnapChat: Carliejohowell (@carliejoprints) on

A post shared by SnapChat: Carliejohowell (@carliejoprints) on

A post shared by BikiniBeansEspresso (@bikinibeansespressokent) on

A post shared by BikiniBeansEspresso (@bikinibeansespressokent) on

Honestly, I’m not sure why it took so long for somebody to come up with this billion dollar idea. I’m an ultimate capitalist. I love money, and I think people should be allowed to do just about anything. It’s the beauty of America. You know what separates us from the communists in North Korea? If you guess that they don’t have bikini baristas in North Korea then you’d be correct.

Some people will complain that this is not an acceptable trend in the food and beverage industry, and it’s that simple-minded thinking that’ll stop those people from ever being successful. God bless innovation, capitalism and America.

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David Hookstead

Reporter

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