Ugly Celebrity Selfies Are Becoming A Thing And It Needs To End

Jena Greene | Contributor

As if we don’t have enough reasons to detest out-of-touch celebrities trying to raise awareness for bogus causes, here comes another one: the ugly selfie.

Celebrities are now being hailed as brave, raw, and real for posting unattractive photos of themselves on various social accounts. By choice.

Maybe it’s Hollywood’s backlash at paparazzi, who clamor for bad angles of pop stars at the grocery store to create buzz. We all remember Kim Kardashian’s June 2017 Mexico trip not because she looked good in a vintage Dior bikini but because she had cellulite. Those photos can be viewed here.

The whole point of the elusive bad-angle paparazzi shot is its element of surprise. The world likes pictures of celebrities caught off guard because we already know they’re attractive. Cellulite pics like Kim’s are satisfying because she actually thinks she looks good there. It’s the ultimate rain on the vanity parade.

So why, pray tell, have celebrities started to embrace this trend? Just last week, Jessica Biel tweeted a photo of herself in the shower, mouth wide open, eating a bowl of pasta.

This photo clearly isn’t meant to be cute, or sexy, or even promotional. It’s meant to be funny. Am I the only one who thinks she totally missed the mark?

Or Lena Dunham, who, in true Lena Dunham form, thinks the whole world joins hands and celebrates her message of anti-masculinity and her personification of the chubby girl you teased in 7th grade gym class, who hates physical exertion almost as much as she hates guns, fossil fuels, and white men in MAGA hats.

This July 4th weekend, she posted this photo, captioned “Really embracing the great outdoors over the holiday!!! No one worry about this lady!” Don’t worry, Lena. We won’t.

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

And then there’s Bella Thorne. Famous for once playing a girl who’s famous, in the TV show cleverly called “Famous.” When she’s not milking her rumored one-week relationship with Scott Disick for all it’s worth, she spends her time posting shameless and real photos like this one, captioned “When you’re sick as a dog and your acne is on fleek.”

A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on

What ever happened to a good old celebrity glam shot? Or cute candid photos on the beach? Are you all now that bored and desperate for buzz that you’ve taken on the role of the paparazzi and post ugly photos yourself?

Call me crazy but I prefer a world that makes sense. Where celebrities bend over backwards trying to bury one unfortunate shot with dozens of unrealistically gorgeous ones.

If I follow a celebrity on social media, I’m following them to escape. Vacations to Bali? Front row at fashion week? A new Ferrari in the driveway? Sign me up. They’re in an unattainable league of their own.

I don’t follow Jessica Biel so I can say to myself, “Hey, look at good old Jessica there. She’s really brave and relatable because she eats fettuccine alfredo in the shower.”

No.

Selfies like these make me angry and jealous. I should be the one sitting in a bathtub stuffing my face while scrolling through a newsfeed of unattainable standards of beauty. Not Jessica Biel.

Sure, we may now live in a post-joke world of political correctness, where beauty contests are a thing of the past and there are no winners and losers in little league.

But celebrities are different. I’m fascinated by famous people because they’re attractive, rich, and largely immune to the daily hardships of the lower and middle class.

So take away my cousin’s first place home-run derby trophy. Tell him he can’t bring it in for show-and-tell because it might make other kids feel bad.

But please, don’t take away my right as a red blooded American to put celebrities in a league of their own.

Jena Greene

Contributor

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