Washington Post Publishes Piece About How Much White Men Suck

David Hookstead | Contributor

The Washington Post might have finally outdone itself with a recent opinion piece about dating and how much men suck.

The piece — “Is my date really ‘woke,’ or is his progressive attitude just for show?” — was written by Alexa Peters, who looks exactly like what you’d expect from a feminist who appears to hate men. I’d suggesting strapping in because it’s about to get good.

Peters wasted absolutely no time before jumping straight into hilarious nonsense.

She starts:

About a year ago, I was at a house show full of buzzed 20-something artists and activists. As the band played, a woman leaned in the doorway to the living room. A man, looking to get another Rainier, grabbed the woman’s waist as he made his way to the cooler in the back yard.

The woman called to him over the rasping guitar amp. “Hey, can you not touch women when you walk by, please?” she said. The man looked back, aghast. “I just wanted to get by,” he responded.

“That isn’t the point,” her friend said.

The tension mounted. The woman he touched told him he was being inappropriate, and another guy in the hallway said: “Look dude, you did a bad thing, just admit it.” I was compelled to join in. “You need to stop and listen to why they’re upset,” I said.

Ahhhh no better way to start than with an overreaction.

I hate stereotyping people, but I’m gonna go ahead and guess partygoers of artists and activists is the last group of people I’d ever want to drink a beer with. They can stick with their weird conflict-free beverages that taste like hell, and I’ll stick with my American brewed Miller Lite.

More importantly, she has to be kidding about this whole situation, right?

Who hasn’t been at a crowded party before and gently moved somebody out of their way as they go from one point to another. I’ve done it before and it’s been done to me. I’ve never once been offended or thought I was about to be attacked. Instead of being relaxed, like myself, they decided to publicly shame this dude. Real classy. Just outstanding. I’m sure he was moments away from murdering somebody before you called him out. Way to read the situation rationally.

After reading this intro, I asked a woman in our office how she would have reacted. She responded, “No. I don’t even get offended when people slam into me because they don’t hold on to the railings on the metro. Why would I be offended if someone politely brushed past me?”

I don’t think the problem is with most men or women. I think the problem is with Peters and her “artists and activists” friends.

Her article just gets better:

For instance, it’s not uncommon for me to question whether the 26-year-old computer programmer I’m having drinks with is really a social progressive, or if his behavior — wearing that #StayWoke shirt, marching in a Black Lives Matter protest — is just put-on virtue to get me into bed. After all, I have encountered more than one guy who sidles up to the bar waxing poetic about toxic masculinity, just before he touches my thigh without my consent.

Newsflash, Peters: guys like having sex with women. Not shockingly they’ll sometimes say whatever they think works to see a woman naked. You can think this is disgusting, you can think it’s wrong, but it happens. Not all guys do it regularly, but it’s pure ignorance to think guys won’t do whatever they think it’s gonna take to get the job done. Here’s another reality check that I’m sure will blow Peters away. Women will do the same stuff to get a guy to take her home. Amazing how that works both ways, isn’t it? Equality.

Here is another great tidbit:

Some daters have created litmus tests to determine whether a person is woke enough to even consider as a prospect. “I’ve been on a date where, I just was like, ‘Hey, I’m going to ask you a question because I need to know if I’m wasting my time — All Lives Matter or Black Lives Matter? When he said Black Lives Matter, I knew we could continue,” said Eva Walker, a single 28-year-old woman who’s the lead guitarist of the black power rock band, the Black Tones.

She says she strives to stay empathetic. “I’m trying to remember that people are brought up a certain way and only know what they were brought up around. They have the right to exist, as I have the right to exist, as the people of Black Lives Matter have the right to exist. It’s like, how do we exist together? I need you to understand that this is happening. But if no one recognizes it, police violence against black Americans won’t change.”

Is this whole article parody? There’s no chance in hell people like this actually exist. I understand that not everybody is like me and my friends. I understand there are people with vastly different viewpoints, but are there really people who open up dates with questions about BLM? If a woman ever opens up a date with me about whether or not I support BLM I’ll be out the door so damn fast her head will be spinning. How about something along the lines of what we do for a living, what sports teams we enjoy or our entertainment interests? Just about anything other than social justice issues would be an appropriate topic for a first date. Perhaps I’m not as “woke” as I once thought, but it just doesn’t make sense to me.

She concludes, in part:

One thing I know: Empathy is not a finite resource. We can be “intersectional feminists” while also understanding that many of the white men we date have no idea how to be of use to movements like Black Lives Matter or how to advocate for reproductive justice, even when they want to. 

Everybody, lets put our hands together with a big round of applause for the virtuous Alexa Peters. It takes some real bravery to acknowledge that white men are uneducated idiots. That’s certainly a segment of the population that has never been attacked before. Some people might say true bravery was storming the beaches on D-Day or fighting behind enemy lines as a paratrooper. I say forget those faceless men. Finally we found somebody will to attack the intelligence and sexual deviancy of white men, a long social class so protected that criticizing them automatically gets you called a bigot. Well done Peters, well done indeed.

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David Hookstead

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