Newest Kid Rock Theory Says He Might Run Simply Because He Is An Arrogant Man

David Hookstead | Contributor

The hot takes are flowing in about Kid Rock, and we might have our best one yet.

Elle, a magazine targeted mostly toward women, posted a take so hot with the article, “Of Course Kid Rock Thinks He Should Run for Office. He’s a Man.,” I almost scorched myself reading it.

Author Caitlin Moscatello wrote in part:

Scroll down, and there are T-shirts for sale below bold type that asks, Are you scared?

Short answer: yeah, kind of. And not because Ritchie is some deer-posing, gun-toting, self-described American Badass (an amusing persona for a white man raised in a sprawling house with a tennis court out back), but because he really might buy into the Trump mentality that governing is easy, constituents and fans are interchangeable, and a willingness to break the rules is superior to knowing them. Marketing ploy or not, beneath the surface of Ritchie’s Senate announcement is the confidence that he can run, maybe even should run, despite his lack of experience. Some of this self-assurance comes from ego and celebrity. Another part stems from the simple fact that he’s a man.

“You’ve never met a politician quite like me,” Ritchie writes on his website, another rich white man convinced he’s the one to shake up Washington. Yes, we have. He’s currently sitting in the Oval Office.

Did you think Kid Rock might run for political office because he loves America, the military, his fellow Michigan citizens and is disappointed with the direction of our country? Well, then you’re an idiot because clearly the only reason he’s running is because he’s an arrogant celebrity who has a penis, according to Moscatello.

Does Kid Rock have an ego? Probably, and he’s earned it. He’s sold out concert venues, millions of albums and has consistently given the world the middle finger on his way to becoming a very wealthy person. That, ladies and gentleman, is the definition of the American dream.

Kid Rock also has a record of speaking out for what he believes in. Does his penis do the speaking for him, or is it just that he loves his country and fellow Americans? I lean toward the latter, but Moscatello has me becoming so woke, I worry it’s the former.

Elle is among the reasons I want Kid Rock to run. It will create more meltdowns from the professional whiners that we all find so entertaining. Imagine what’ll happen if he actually runs and wins. At that point there might be so much winning going on that I’ll genuinely be tired of it.

For the good of America we need to make this happen. As for Moscatello, leave the hot takes to the pros. Not everybody, yourself included, belongs in this world of fire takes.

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David Hookstead

Contributor

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