Shoutout To Fat Boy Kim Jong Un For Backing Down Like A Little Baby

David Hookstead | Reporter

I have nothing but praise for our favorite dictator Kim Jong Un.

The chubby little man in charge of North Korea lost a game of chicken to President Trump, and it’s far from the greatest look for the hermit kingdom.

From The Daily Caller News Foundation:

Kim appears to be attempting to de-escalate tensions to prevent conflict between the U.S. and North Korea. After the U.N. Security Council approved tougher sanctions against North Korea for its intercontinental ballistic missile tests, the North warned Wednesday that it was considering launching a salvo of ballistic missiles into waters around Guam in a show of force demonstrating an ability to surround the island with “enveloping fire.” That same day, President Donald Trump stressed that North Korean threats will be met with “fire and fury like nothing the world has ever seen.” For a week, the two sides hurled threats and warnings at each other repeatedly, leading some observers to conclude that the two sides were close to nuclear war.

But, Kim blinked.

Stop me if you’ve ever heard this one before: the United States of America is once again coming out on top.

Some people say bullying doesn’t work, and for the most part I agree. However, there’s nothing more entertaining than watching Trump and the United States bully the hell out of North Korea. Just shoving them in a locker day after day.

North Korea wants to pop off with a few threats? That’s fine. We’ll just destroy your entire regime. Kim Jong Un wants to launch missiles at Guam? No big deal. We’ll just rock Pyongyang on a casual Tuesday afternoon.

I also understand Trump’s rhetoric. He knows football season is right around the corner, and if we have to drop a few fireworks, the show should be over before the first game of the season. Apparently Kim Jong Un decided August 2017 wasn’t the best time to test the United States of America’s resolve. You don’t mess with America if we’re on the cusp of football season. You wanna pop off in June? Fine, but don’t bring this garbage around once we’re in the dog days of August practice.

Shoutout to America for continuing to be the best, and shoutout to the world’s funniest dictator for continuing to suck at absolutely everything.

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David Hookstead



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