Texting Someone During A Football Game Should Result In Prison Time

David Hookstead | Contributor

There is nearly never an excuse to call or text somebody while they’re watching a football game.

Many people are unable to put down their phones, and they think people should be accessible at all hours of the day. For the most part, I agree. I need answers quickly for plenty of stuff, and nothing upsets me more than when critical information takes extended periods of time to get passed along.

(Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)

FAYETTEVILLE, AR – NOVEMBER 12: Danny Etling #16 of the LSU Tigers throws a pass while in the grasp of Taiwan Johnson #94 of the Arkansas Razorbacks at Razorback Stadium on November 12, 2016 in Fayetteville, Arkansas. The Tigers defeated the Razorbacks 38-10. (Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)

There should be a different standard, however, during football games. Football represents a sanctuary, and we must protect it at all costs. If you text or call someone when you know their favorite team is playing, you belong in prison, because you’re an awful person. It doesn’t have to be a long prison sentence, but we can’t have savages running around ruining our Saturdays and Sundays. These are cold, heartless people, and a civilized society should punish them appropriately.

You think I want my phone going off during a crucial fourth down late in a Wisconsin Badgers game? Absolutely not.

In case you think I’m kidding, I’m willing to prove how serious I am about this. I don’t care if certified smoke show Gal Gadot wants to give me a quick ring to go out on a date. If she calls me during a Wisconsin Badgers or Detroit Lions game, she’s not getting an answer until the game is done. I don’t care if she calls me while wearing red lace lingerie and asks me to come over to watch the game at her place. Zero chance I’m leaving my television while the game is on.

It takes a horrible person to ruin my football on the weekends, and horrible people deserve to be locked up where they can’t hurt anybody else. I won’t apologize for this stance. It’s what America needs.

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David Hookstead

Contributor

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