A Moment Of Silence For Florida’s Upcoming Embarrassment

Jena Greene | Reporter

The University of Florida just announced that yet another two football players have been suspended indefinitely, rounding up their total suspensions to 10 before the season even gets underway.

The two are a part of an ongoing scandal that’s rocked the Gators. According to ESPN:

Their suspensions are related to those of seven other Florida players, including star wide receiver Antonio Callaway, for making improper charges on their student IDs at the school bookstore and then selling those items for cash.

The internet had a field day with this one. Ten players suspended before game one? I mean you have to be trying to hit that number before September.

Good news for Michigan fans though. Coach Harbaugh no longer has to worry about all the buzz around his roster because most of Florida’s is null and void anyways. He could literally bench 10 of his players and still have a fair shot.

Given Harbaugh’s history of generally just being a total baller, it’s probably safe to say he won’t be benching 10 of his guys.

And with only two days before the opener versus Michigan, Florida seems to be in a bit of a race against the clock.

I could sit here all afternoon and make jokes about the SEC, Coach McElwain being accused of having a little too much fun with a shark this summer, and Florida in general, but I’m not going to. They’ve already lost 10 players to a rudimentary Ponzi scheme for textbooks.

Instead, I think it’s time for our country to finally join hands in unity and just have a moment of silence for the Gators. Cry it out. Take a bubble bath with a bottle of wine. Hold a candlelight vigil with your neighbors. Stock up on your favorite junk food and lock yourself in the closet to mourn the proverbial spanking Florida is about to get on Saturday.

Because Florida’s about to be on the receiving end of a Big Blue and yellow bruising.

Jena Greene



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