Would You Rather Give Up Watching Football Or Having Sex For Six Months?

David Hookstead | Contributor

The question whether or not people would prefer to give up watching football for the entire season or give up sex instead is dividing America worse than politics.

The debate started a few days ago in my office when I floated the idea that I would not rush away from a Wisconsin Badgers game to have sex with a supermodel. The specific example I used was Gal Gadot.

Lots of my coworkers tore into me with a variety of different insults for choosing college football over a quick hookup with a supermodel. They might very well be right. I could be an idiot, and I might be making a massive mistake. I’m not too proud to admit I might be wrong, or have made the comment in haste.

So, I decided to put the question out to the public, and slap on slightly broader rules for the scenario. I simply asked people whether they would choose sex or football for the next six months. You can’t have both, and if you choose sex, it means you can’t watch college football or the NFL. It’s a complete and utter blackout of the sport. Not a single second of action on the gridiron.

It didn’t take long before the option of giving up sex was winning by a massive margin. I had a few people also reach out to me through private communication channels, and give me their opinion on the matter. Obviously they want their discretion, hence the reason they didn’t openly reply.

One man with deep ties to the SEC came over the top and questioned the patriotism of any man who would willingly give up football.

“Oh, I didn’t have to think at all. I am giving up sex no doubt. I would turn down a million dollars to be able to watch football. I would give her my number and tell her to call me when the season ends. Your coworkers aren’t American if they would have sex with one hot chick over watching football,” the man replied during the discussion. He did acknowledge that the population would likely be split on the question.

There are few factors worth spending a little extra time considering. First, if you are regularly having sex with incredibly attractive women and don’t really care about football, then the obvious choice is to give up football. On the flip-side of the coin, if you’re not having much sex at all and love football, then you’d almost certainly choose to give up sex.

Well, what if you’re right in the middle? You love your football team, and have steady hookups with your wife, girlfriend or multiple members of the opposite sex who are around a seven. Then this gets a lot more complicated. I think most guys with successful football programs are still going to pick football over sex. I’m not sure why I feel that way, but something just makes me feel that if it’s close and the team is good, football will win out. If the team is not good then I think the sex wins.

Finally, here is something to consider. Football runs September to part of February. This means the summer bodies of women have pretty much disappeared and gone dormant. They’re in hibernation mode. Does this mean they still won’t be hot? Of course not, but people don’t put work into a bikini body if it’s not bikini season. They’re going to take a slight hit. That, ladies and gentlemen, is science. I think this could once again tip the scale towards football winning out.

As for myself, I’d like to believe I’d pick football, and I think it’s overwhelmingly likely I would. However, I’m an honest man and some of my coworkers have made me realize that the supermodel scenario I previously threw out might not be as realistic as I thought when I made the claim. Would I really be able to turn down a supermodel when the time came? I’d like to believe I have that much willpower, but we never truly know until we are tested.

Also, props to me for not just asking this question to men. I know there are plenty of hot women out there who are huge football fans. Once again, I’m standing up for the rights of hot women, and didn’t even realize it.

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David Hookstead

Contributor

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