A Friendly Reminder That NYFW Is Nothing But A Zoo

Jena Greene | Contributor

For those of you who don’t know care, New York Fashion Week is going on.

New York Fashion Week is one of those special times of the year. It brings everyone together to remember how out of touch and irrelevant the people who participate in it really are.

But being “artists” and “alternative” and all, NYFW participants are largely unaware that they’re a spectacle. And that’s what I’m here for.

Let’s take a look at the most disturbing looks this year’s fashion week has brought us.

Нью Йорк для меня больше, чем просто крутой мегаполис. Я тут всегда заряжаюсь и вдохновляюсь. Это город, где до тебя другим нет никакого дела, однако каждый готов прийти на помощь. Тут такой бешеный ритм, что даже Москва по сравнению с ним кажется размеренной и спокойной. Но почему-то от этого ритма я совсем не устаю и всегда скучаю по “большому яблоку”, ведь тут легко быть самой собой. Если вы любите Нью Йорк – ставьте #NYFW #NYC #style #maybelline #макияжвбольшомгороде #streetstyle #streetfashion

A post shared by Maria Ivakova (@maria_ivakova) on

Wowza. There it is. Right outta the gate. In case you missed it, her corset says “Send Nudes.”

But that could just be an isolated fashion blunder, right? Wrong.

I present to you the man in sequin pants:

Just so we’re all clear, that is a man. In rose gold sequin culottes. Paired with a safari hat. And what seems to be a junkyard chain draped around his neck.

Next. I’m gonna let this one speak for itself:

And because nothing says style like wrapping caution tape around your neck:

Making the scene: Sarah and Sabrina at the shows today. #NYFW @gastrochic

A post shared by New York Times Fashion (@nytimesfashion) on

Let’s turn up the heat a little:

This week was one of the most challenging, fabulous experiences a queen could ever hope for, and I KICKED ITS ASS!! #DragCon, #NYFW, #LGBTExpo, a photoshoot with @kennyrodz, and the return of the #burners all at the same time. I am so grateful to all the kind, stylish people who inspired me, my @houseofyesnyc family for keeping my spirits high, @jbcstyle_ for having me as one of their #fashionweek brand ambassadors, and @trishadbordeaux for being a spectacular friend and sister. You, my love, have a heart of glitter and I hope the sparkle never blows away. Thank you for being my sister. I don’t know if it was the severe lack of sleep (30 hours over seven days), or the excessive @redbull I consumed, but I discovered massive growth in my skills and soul as an artist and I’m excited to embrace these discoveries and share them with the world as I elevate my drag to its next level! #endpost #excessivelylong #post #ilovenewyork! #inspired #queen #slayingthegame #wedidit #love #norestfortheweary #turnitout #grow #sore #learn #live #bebold #bepink #pinkhairdontcare #twinning #dragqueen #drag #seeyounextyear #reaching #finalform (Hair by @trishadbordeaux)

A post shared by Madame Vivien V (@madamevivienv) on

So we’re all aware, two of the three people pictured above are men.

To be fair…did anybody really expect Nicki Minaj to act normal during fashion week?

Bummer. I missed the memo that it’s now cool to look like you just raided your flamboyant 90-year-old aerobic instructor’s attic.

Ok so technically this was last year’s look for Troy Solomon, who has over 36,000 Instagram followers, but he didn’t disappoint this year. He wore a silver dress.

But I hold one very special look close to my heart. This man proves that he gets the idea of fashion but is still a man of the people, a la his accessory choice:

Thank you, New York Fashion Week. Please never change. I’ll never have to buy a zoo ticket again.

Jena Greene

Contributor

Trending

Lindsey Vonn Responds To Backlash After Anti-Trump Comments
Multiple Former NFL Players Accused Of Sexual Harassment In Amended Lawsuit
UFC Octagon Girl Lights Up Instagram In Tiny Bikini
Here Are The Smoke Room’s Women Of The Year [SLIDESHOW]