This Campaign Ad Wins The Cringe Contest In A Landslide

Jena Greene | Contributor

Virginia congressional hopeful Dan Helmer might have made the worst political advertisement of all time.

Helmer might have lost that lovin’ feeling but his cringy ad has pretty much everything else a centrist could hope for: flaunting one’s military service to win across party lines, a token female African American millennial with a nose ring, and an Apple watch to prove he’s just out of touch enough to be elected.

He must be taking notes from John McCain and John Kerry.

As the ad indicates, Helmer is challenging Virginia’s current 10th District Representative Barbara Comstock. Comstock is a Republican and may be playing defense in the 2018 congressional race given northern Virginia’s newfound vitriol for Trump and Republicans as a whole.

But from the looks of this ad, Dan Helmer might have to be the one on the defensive. Never mind the fact that Helmer’s posing as a Navy pilot here (he actually served in the Army) — but he’s marketing himself as a centrist and actually expecting to gain popularity.

What’s that saying about riding the fence and getting splinters in the wrong place?

Maybe Helmer’s stuck in the wrong century, but this is 2017. Where polarization is actually winning out. There’s a reason Donald Trump is president and people like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders are considered legitimate opposition.

Gone are the days of JFK Democrats and triangulation. Centrists are so 20th century.

And what did Top Gun ever do to Dan Helmer? Was it really necessary to take an iconic scene from a great movie and turn it into a dumpster fire? Why not Shrek? Or The Longest Yard? Keep Maverick and Goose out of it.

Though it is possible that Dan Helmer is purposefully letting his cringey freak flag fly. It’s created plenty of other celebrities in the past.

Jena Greene

Contributor

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