A Bikini Golf League Might Be A One Hundred Billion Dollar Idea

David Hookstead | Reporter

I might have had the greatest idea of my life this morning: a bikini golf league.

I’m a big-picture thinker, and I often find myself pondering different ventures I could dabble in. My potential ventures range from the more likely strip club boat to the much more unlikely venture of pirate hunting cruises.

Well, the idea of a bikini golf league put both of those ideas to shame. The concept of the league is very simple.

These smoke shows golf in whatever they want, and then they are awarded a score on a scale of 1-10 at the end of the match. They are then able to shave their outfit score off their stroke count. Show up in a bikini, and you are probably going to end up shaving at least eight points off. Wear a burka, and you’ll be shaving zero points off. The unique scoring system keeps everybody on edge because simply having the lowest stroke score no longer guarantees a win. This forces the athletes to raise their outfit game to the next level.

The league would run from the end of the NBA season until the start of football. This gives the audience two and a half months of sports content during the dullest time of the year. There’s no doubt some television network will shell out massive money to get the streaming rights.

It’s also very simple when it comes to ticket sales. Cost of attending a match would run somewhere between $100 to $200 for a ticket, but with that the customer would get as much food and drink as they’d like. As it was pointed out to me, nobody goes to golf matches to watch the swing form or analyze the course. They’re there to drink a few beers with the boys and hang out. My ticket structure checks both boxes.

I’m sure some people who hate women will tell me this idea is horrible. I disagree. I believe attractive women have the right to do whatever they want, and that includes golfing in a bikini.

I’m not sure how much time it would take to get this put together, but anybody who spends ten minutes on Instagram knows finding the golfers would be incredibly easy. The only question left is how long it’ll take me to cash in my first billion from this idea.

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David Hookstead



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