It’s Disappointing To Learn Beer Might Give You ‘Man Boobs’

David Hookstead | Contributor

Today I was informed that beer contains a bunch of estrogen, and might give you man boobs.

I was in a state of utter shock as a friend explained to me the side-effects of drinking too much beer. My entire reality was all of a sudden being question, and I quickly fired up Google to get some answers.

An article I found from VICE states in part:

Not many people know this, but those hops in your favorite IPA are actually wonderful medicine for insomnia and menopause, thanks to their high phytoestrogen content. These same phytoestrogens, however, might be less desirable for men, as indicated by the common condition known among brewers as Brewer’s Droop.

Yes, you read that right: Hops are giving men man boobs.

In the book Sacred and Herbal Healing Beers, herbalist Stephen Herrod Buhner describes the three standard uses of hops in herbal medicine: as a sleep inducer; as a diuretic that successfully promotes urine flow; and finally, as a natural source of phytoestrogen to treat menopause and endometriosis. The herbalist Susan Weed also refers to hops as a nutritive painkiller, a sleep-inducing herb, and as an effective supplement to boost milk production in lactating women.

Say it isn’t so. My whole life has been built on the premise that football, beer, babes in bikinis, March Madness and freedom is the winning combination that has made America the greatest country on this planet.

Nobody told me along the way that I might get man boobs simply because I like to enjoy an ice cold beer as I watch Wisconsin’s power offense stuff the ball down Nebraska’s throat. I now have some very important choices that must be made.

I can buy into this “science” that says I’m going to get man boobs if I keep drinking, or I can ignore this garbage as I keep living my life as the last renegade left in this town. It’s not an easy decision. I really love beer and I really hate man boobs. This is one of those choices you always read about in history books. A choice with such monumental impact that it will be felt for years to come.

To give up beer, or run the risk of getting big ole’ man boobs? Things are about to get really interesting in the Hookstead household.

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David Hookstead

Contributor

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