It’s officially game time, and my attempt to eat at Culver’s at least 21 times over the next three weeks has been started.
As you all know, I love freedom, hot women, guns (a bit redundant on the freedom part) and I love red meat. I believe you’re never really a man until you kill something and eat it yourself.
I’m also a huge fan of Culver’s. I’ve often said I want to get buried with their cheeseburgers. Last week, I wrote about how I was going to chronicle my attempt at repeating a nearly impossible feat from the 2016 holidays. I ate at Culver’s over 20 times in a three week period, and proceeded to lose weight.
Men have different legacies they chase. Some men are rocket scientists, titans of industry, pro athletes, business owners, real estate barons and many other noble things. My legacy thus far in life is that of a man who is taking over the internet and somehow has the ability to eat whatever I want without blowing up.
I’m on the record as a guy who chugs Mountain Dew nonstop throughout the day, as many witnesses can confirm, and I’m still in the “he’s only kind of fat” phase. It’s where I do my best work.
So, I made my return to Wisconsin yesterday, but before I returned I had to make sure I did a weigh-in. Much like a great boxing match, we have to make sure the numbers are correct. I clocked in at 185 pounds. This isn’t exactly the same 185 pounds on a six foot frame that you’d expect out of a wide receiver or dominating defensive back. I’m flattered that most of your minds probably instantly jumped to that conclusion. My 185 pounds in more inline with a “every part of the midsection is in business for itself” setup.
I was at a Culver’s within five minutes of leaving the airport, and had a double cheeseburger in my hands before long. I then had another cheeseburger for dinner. I had two cheeseburgers down before I was even in the state for four hours.
Culver’s (Credit: David Hookstead)
We’ve now officially embarked upon the great challenge. Can I possibly eat dozens of cheeseburgers over the next few weeks and lose weight again? I have no idea, but we’re about to find out.
Everybody is telling me that this is a really stupid idea. I’m pretty sure they said the same thing when NASA decided to throw some people in space. Look how that worked out and then tell me what I’m doing isn’t genius.
Stay tuned because I’ll be updating you guys once or twice a week with results. I might fail or I might do the impossible yet again. Either way, it’s going to be one hell of a fun ride.