Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to report a tragic incident that destroyed 60,000 cans of beer after a semi-truck recently crashed in Florida.
WEAR reported the following:
According to a Florida Highway Patrol press release, Michael Nolan Powell, 44, of Simpsonville, South Carolina, was driving a tractor-trailer west on I-10 at 2:40 a.m. when he failed to maintain his lane.
As a result, the tractor-trailer traveled onto the north shoulder of the road and overturned on its passenger side, causing an estimated 60,000 pounds of Busch beer to be thrown from the trailer, the press release stated.
There are days I love my job, and there are days I hate my job. Today is one of the days that I absolutely despise my job. I take no joy in bringing this news to all of you. Beer is part of the backbone of America. It’s what keeps us united, strong and ready to rage at a moment’s notice.
There are days of our lives that we will always remember. I don’t think the truck driver, Busch, myself or anybody else who loves beer will forget where they were when they heard about 60,000 pounds of beer being lost forever. Isn’t there some kind of special forces unit we can send in to save those beers?
Think about all the parties that won’t be held. Think about all the magical moments that won’t happen. Think about all the guys who won’t be able to shoot their shots at the bar with women as they drink an ice cold Busch beer. The great thing about America is that we can always find a way to bounce back. It’s just who we are.
Losing 60,000 pounds of beer is a legit reason for a man to cry. Hell, I’m getting a bit teary-eyed as I write this right now. We will recover, we will endure, we will survive and we will get stronger because that’s what Americans do when they face a tragedy.