Costco’s Selling Doomsday Kits for $6,000. What Do They Know That We Don’t?

Jena Greene | Reporter

It’s not a very controversial stance to say that Costco is one of the happiest places on earth. Where else can you get free samples, a kayak, diamonds, and hundreds of coffee pods all in one place? But now, it might be safe to say that Costco may also be one of the wokest places on earth.

That’s because a doomsday package just hit the shelves everywhere. And you can get it for an affordable $6,000.

And before you balk at the price tag, hear it out. These packages are intended to feed a family of four and has a 25-year shelf life. It offers around 36,000 servings filled with canned fruits, veggies, proteins, grains and dairy. And if canned dairy isn’t your thing, fear not. If and when the apocalypse comes you’re not gonna worry about taste. You’re worrying about shelter, caloric intake and not getting your brain eaten by zombies.

Luckily for you, these bad boys pack a punch. Each serving maxes out at around 2,000 calories so — even if you do get your brain eaten — you won’t have to worry about starving to death.

I wouldn’t consider myself a paranoid person but I am somebody who trusts the fine people at Costco. They were ahead of the curve for selling engagement rings and ahead of the curve for putting toilet paper in bulk. Who am I to question whether they’re ahead of the curve in preparing for doomsday? While I don’t have $6,000 to spare at the moment, you better believe as soon as I do have six grand I’m stocking up on a doomsday kit.

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Jena Greene

Reporter

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