GROUNDBREAKING REPORT: Staring At Women’s Chests Is Good For Your Health

David Hookstead | Reporter

Apparently staring at the chests of women can be very good for the health of men.

The New York Post caught my attention late Tuesday night with a tweet that simply stated, “Staring at boobs is just one of six easy ways men can live longer.” I don’t think I’ve clicked on a link faster in my life. (SLIDESHOW: These Women On Instagram Hate Wearing Clothes)

I soon found myself reading one of the greatest stories ever written, which was actually initially published around a year ago. I have no idea why they brought it out of the closet for another round, but I was fascinated. The NY Post wrote on the subject of staring at breasts:

It may seem like an inconvenience or an invasion of privacy to many women, but staring at boobs creates a positive mindset in men.

The same effect occurs when they look at cute animals.

A 2012 study, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, looked at the effects positive thinking had on men’s health.

After a year, positive thinking had a powerful effect on health choices.

Now, I’ve never been a big science guy. I barely passed every science class I’ve ever taken. I’ve left science to those geeks in lab coats. I don’t care how my medicine and cell phone works as long as they function properly when needed. (SLIDESHOW: 142 Times Josephine Skriver Barely Wore Anything)

However, I think I would have done substantially better if they taught science in this manner back in the day. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve been told that my profiling of Instagram models isn’t good? Too many times to count, but it turns out I’m literally saving lives. My critics are over here trying to deny men the ability to live longer and healthier lives. Shame on them. I put a curse on them. (SLIDESHOW: 71 Times Samantha Hoopes Stripped Down)

I’m the son of a veterinarian, but I never thought it would turn out I was a bit of a lifesaving doctor myself. No need to call me a hero. I’m sure lots of people are saying that, but I don’t need to hear it. I’ll just keep doing my thing and saving lives.

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David Hookstead

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