One State Has 7 Of The Top 10 Drunkest Cities In America

David Hookstead | Reporter

Wisconsin absolutely dominated the rankings for the drunkest cities in America.

How dominating was my home state? Oh, nothing major. We just took home seven of the top ten spots and had all four top spots. That’s right. The Cheese State absolutely dominated the rest of America.

This isn’t actually an entirely new update. Wisconsin also dominated the rankings last year, but I really didn’t expect that we’d do it in such impressive fashion in back-to-back years. How surprised was I? I didn’t even know the latest rankings had come out until somebody from work texted me late last night in utter shock at the level of drinking Wisconsin does. (SLIDESHOW: CELEBRATE THE ANNIVERSARY OF PROHIBITION ENDING WITH THESE WOMEN WHO LOVE BEER)

Well, I’m here to tell everyone that we can out drink all of you. Science has proved it. Am I man that needs to brag about the accomplishments of my people? Of course not. I was raised to be humble and silent in victory. Would a younger David Hookstead remind all of you that our football atmosphere is the best, our women are the hottest, our beer is the coldest, how many drunk bets I’ve won and that I once got a woman’s number at a bar? Sure, 19-year-old David Hookstead would have bragged to no end about how incredible Wisconsin and our drinking culture is.

That David Hookstead doesn’t exist anymore. Now it’s 26-year-old Hookstead who just loves science and will look at our accomplishments with a silent smile on my face. I’ll let the young guns take this one away.

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David Hookstead

Reporter

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