ESPN Pundit Shares Heartbreaking Story About The Death Of His Child
ESPN pundit Tony Reali shared a heartbreaking story over the weekend about the recent death of his child.
Reali and his wife recently gave birth to twins, but one of them died in the “moments” leading up to the birth. He put out a string of tweets about the one who passed away, Amadeo, for Father’s Day. It’s one of the most heartbreaking things you’ll read on the internet.
Heartened by Father’s Day wishes.
In recognition that this day like all things in life could mean different things to different people -parent and child, positive and negative-I’d like to speak here about fathers who’ve experienced loss.
This month I became one.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
Anyone within a galaxy of me knows we were expecting twins. We lost Amadeo in the moments leading up to childbirth. We delivered Enzo weeks early in an emergency. Last week was our memorial mass for Amadeo. This week Enzo came home happy, healthy and strong.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
The duality of all this – the anguish and the joy – is impossible to grasp. But it’s one we know we must navigate. For me that means two things: giving voice to our feelings, and allowing others to lift us when we can’t shoulder the load of those feelings.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
The heaviness of giving a eulogy for a son who never had a chance to breathe. Having to talk to our just-old-enough-to-know daughter who was expecting two siblings. These are impossible moments; how can any parent go forward? Ever be whole?
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
Consider that grief could mean meeting ourselves where we actually are. That’s what I’m talking about when I talk about navigating feelings. Recognizing we didn’t get to know Amadeo- but sure as anything we felt him. Felt his kicks, felt his presence. That feeling is life.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
I am not somebody who thinks everything happens for a reason. I’ve spent time here* & here* pledging that it’s ok to not be ok. For me the recognition that life can be out of our control is necessary; how we respond is what we do control, and it’s pivotal and determining.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
But what if it requires more than that? How we choose to respond, but also: how others positively respond to us, for us. And that’s what I’m talking about when I talk about allowing others to lift us.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
Example: In our instance, a twin stroller is on every block, an expectant family at every park. That can pierce your heart, but you can let it pierce your every day. Or a day like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, it’s even trickier.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
Isn’t grief part and proof of humanity?
What if it’s humanity you need to open yourself up to? To allow to shepherd you through trials of grief?
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
And what if we extend that to trials of different kinds: unhealth, self doubt, self hate, addiction, intolerance, sexism, racism, ageism, xenophobia, homophobia, lack of empathy. Isn’t loss part of all those in the systemic taking away of our ourselves and what makes us human?
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
And that possibility there makes this all the more challenging. We need the humanity to get through everything but what if we need humanity to be better?
A family day where families are dealing with loss because families are torn apart is not a family day. It’s not a human day.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
The name Amadeo means God’s Love.
May we all be open to seeing it in ourselves, may we be strong enough to receive it from others, compassionate enough to give it to others, and courageous enough to demand it from others.
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
Here* https://t.co/ceBub1Q5Ji
And Here * https://t.co/7ylqrztGZn
— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2018
I can’t imagine what losing a child must be like and the strain it must have on a couple. I also can’t imagine what it’s like for Reali to discuss the loss of his child in front of the whole world.
As I’ve often said before, we sometimes forget that athletes and the celebrities we see on TV are real people. They have ups and downs in their lives. They’re not perfect, they struggle at times and they experience hard times. (RELATED: T.J. OSHIE TALKING ABOUT HIS DAD AFTER WINNING THE STANLEY CUP WILL PUT TEARS IN YOUR EYES)
There probably isn’t anything worse than losing a child. That’s the type of thing that could break a man. At the same time, maybe Reali openly talking about the loss of Amadeo will help others out there in need of assistance.
It took a lot of courage to post those tweets for everybody to read and dissect. Most people don’t want their lives under a microscope, especially when they involve a tragedy. Hopefully, Reali and his wife are able to find some comfort in this dark and testing time.
