The Top Party Schools In America Have Been Named. The List Is Very Wrong

David Hookstead | Reporter

The top party schools in America have been revealed, and I hate the list published by Princeton Review.

The top ten schools are:

  1. University of Delaware
  2. West Virginia
  3. Tulane
  4. Syracuse
  5. Bucknell
  6. Lehigh
  7. University of California – Santa Barbara
  8. Wisconsin
  9. Colgate
  10. Univ. of Rhode Island

Yeah, I’m going to have to lay down the law with these rankings. Give me a break. You have Wisconsin at eight? Who the hell put this list together? You think people at any of the schools ahead of them know how to throw down? Either Wisconsin changed dramatically since I came through or this list is flat-out wrong.

Listen, there are only a couple things we know how to do well at Wisconsin. We win football games, slam beers, enjoy a little bit of whiskey, have the hottest women on the planet and are just generally better than everybody else. You honestly don’t know what a party is until you race your way through a case of Busch Light when it’s forty degrees below zero. Did I mention we have the hottest women? (SLIDESHOW: These Women On Instagram Hate Wearing Clothes)

This list is straight-up embarrassing. I’d be embarrassed to have played a role in putting it together. The people at the schools ahead of us wouldn’t last five seconds in a game of flip cup or beer pong. Not five seconds! We would drink them under the table. Your hair would curl if I told you some of the things I’ve seen and done while wearing my Wisconsin red during my days in Madison.

Shame on Princeton Review for doubting my squad. That’s the type of mistake that can destroy your credibility.

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David Hookstead

Reporter

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