The NFL Preseason Officially Begins Tonight. That’s A Win For America

David Hookstead | Reporter

The full slate of NFL preseason games officially gets underway tonight.

There are a total of 12 games tonight, and that sounds like a reason to celebrate it I’ve heard of one. The Cleveland Browns vs. the New York Giants and the Dallas Cowboys vs. the San Francisco 49ers are the national broadcasted games on the NFL Network. (RELATED: MATTHEW STAFFORD’S 2017 HIGHLIGHTS ARE PRETTY MUCH STRAIGHT UP FOOTBALL PORN)

There are very few things that I get super amped about in this life. You might say that’s sad, but the reality is that I’m just laser focused on the important things that matter. It’s truly that simple. You know what matters? Football.

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We didn’t storm the beaches of Normandy and drop two atomic bombs on the Japanese so that neutered liberals could tell us that we can’t love football. It’s the exact opposite actually. We dominated the whole world because we’re America, and in this country, we have the right to do whatever we want. That includes watching football and drinking a bunch of beer.

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You don’t like it, I heard there’s a flight for China leaving in 30 minutes. You should make sure to be on it. In the meantime, the rest of us are going to get back to watching football and pounding a few cold brews. That’s what America in all of her glory.

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David Hookstead

Reporter
  

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