Steelers linebacker Ryan Shazier went on a Twitter rampage Wednesday without even tweeting a word.
Early this morning, a few eagle-eyed Twitter users noticed the two-time pro bowler went on a following spree. And we’re not talking a few pro athletes, maybe some NFL beat reporters, and his buddies from Ohio State. We’re talking about porn accounts. And lots of ’em.
Take a look at some of his new online buddies:
It looks like Ryan Shazier is getting feeling back in his body nhnhnh pic.twitter.com/EXdtRcFE4q
— MIGUEL ANDUJAR FOR ROOKIE OF THE YEAR (@AshyVandross) September 26, 2018
He’s got month of catching up to do I guess pic.twitter.com/VE2FMokcki
— MIGUEL ANDUJAR FOR ROOKIE OF THE YEAR (@AshyVandross) September 26, 2018
Ryan Shazier’s following list suggests he’s the horniest athlete on Twitter: Not meant to shamehttps://t.co/VMvxDVpwVz pic.twitter.com/lF7XgJJ9EW
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 26, 2018
In the midst of the horniest follow-spree this sode of the Mississippi, Ryan Shazier decided to follow Darren Rovell pic.twitter.com/9PtZp39MpE
— Kenjac (@KenJac) September 26, 2018
I’m going to give Ryan Shazier some buoy room here because he had a really scary accident last season and maybe he missed out on some important lessons about social media during his recovery period. Or maybe he got hacked and he has no idea that his timeline is now riddled with nudity and girls, girls, girls.
But dude … check your Twitter!!! Seriously. This is an urgent matter. This isn’t something you just get around to at some point this week. Like, when you get that Twitter email saying you have a bajillion notifications, you check that out IMMEDIATELY. And the longer you let it sit, the longer the whole “I got hacked” excuse gets less believable. You can’t say you got hacked a few days after this happens. Nobody goes days without checking their Twitters. Especially not 26-year-old pro athletes.
The best way to handle this situation now is to just dig in. Just keep following more porn accounts. Hold a press conference and call the public a bunch of prudes for being offended by this. Maybe get a porn site to sponsor you. It’s 2018 and pretty much any scandal can be profited from. At this rate, we’re about 5–10 years out from Kim Kardashian being president of the United States. This can only make Ryan Shazier stronger.